SENIOR SAMPLER FOR MAY 4, 2006

          What’s on the horizon for the funeral industry?  I would like to make few predictions... 

          First, Advanced Funeral Planning will take a giant step forward.  The public is fast realizing that in order to be able to afford a meaningful funeral service, with quality merchandise, cemetery property and monument, the time to prepare is now.  In the past, with advance planning, funeral directors have guaranteed all services and merchandise, with  no additional costs in the future.  That may soon become a thing of the past.  A family in the future will buy a whole life policy for $25,000 to $50,000, and the funeral will be paid from the proceeds of the policy: Higher premiums ~larger benefits.  The policy will be large enough to cover any and all the funeral costs.

          Soon the Baby Boomers, of which I am one, will be making arrangements for themselves.  We want convenience, value, and quality, and we are willing to pay the price.  We desire a meaningful farewell.

          A second prediction is that in the near future, additional options will become available, such as above ground burials, in beautiful garden mausoleums.  In addition, there will be columbariums which will provide for the permanent disposition of cremated remains.  A glass niche will display the urn, and other memorabilia of our loved ones.

          My last prediction is that funeral services will continue in the future as it has in the past - to serve families with options that suit their needs and desires, and with understanding and genuine compassion.

          I am sure that the family owned, long standing established funeral director will always be revered.  I sure hope so.  I have spent my life serving families in their hour of separation.   Some circumstances have been tragic, others held moments of great tenderness. Whatever the case, I know the pain of separation is real.  It was for me, and that memory serves me well as I care for you and your family.  

 

          Always mindful of the tender feelings that accompany this noble profession,

 Sincerely,

Ted Spilsbury

Reflections on Our U.S. Armed Forces

            This past week I have strongly felt the influence of the U.S. Armed Forces, our men and women that protect this great nation, and their sacrifices that bless our lives each and every day.  Not only are they heroes, serving to protect our daily freedoms, they are called upon constantly throughout the world to perform tasks that are seldom mentioned, that of acts of recovery.   For example, they retrieve our dead from the devastations of natural disaster and terrorism.  They step up, providing equipment, know-how, and manpower to preserve the sacred physical  bodies of those whom we love at any and all costs.  Often such duty is mentally and physically overwhelming, such as the recovery of bodies that are in advanced stages of decomposition or that have been victims of drowning, explosion, fire, or other devastation.  We all realize that rescue efforts are being performed, but do we consider who follows through and makes sure that our loved ones make it home?  It is a combination of many, many great and wonderful folks.  It touches my heart, knowing the valiant efforts of those who help to bring closure and peace to grieving families.  Not only does our government and military assist in bringing our dead home, but they once again step up and help us lay them to rest.

            For example, military honors, whether honoring those actively protecting us or those who have served this great nation in the past, the President of the United States makes sure that none are forgotten.  I have most recently witnessed our local American Legion, performing military honors in a complete cloudburst.  It made me proud to stand in their presence.  We, in Southern Utah, are blessed to have the finest military honors in this wonderful, blessed country –  the United States of America (excepting perhaps the honors provided by full-time active duty trained soldiers at the Arlington National Cemetery in Virginia).  As “Taps” is played, the 21-gun-salute pierces the air, and the flag presented, I see the tears of gratitude.  They are the great and noble ones, providing a fitting final tribute on behalf of the President and a grateful nation.

            How proud we are to be citizens of such a great nation, a nation that reveres their dead and pays proper honor and respect.  May I take this opportunity to say “thank you” to all of our service men and women for all they do, here and abroad.

Radio, Television, Print...?

            How does a funeral home/mortuary compete for business?  Advertising is a very sensitive issue.  We never broadcast that the decedent’s appearance is so much better at Spilsbury’s, or that we respond faster when asked to remove a body.  We never inform the public that we guarantee the protective and respectful care of their loved ones or that we have an open door policy for the family to spend time with them, even though it may be after regular business hours. So, how do we get the word out?  Is it location, price, 

advertising, billboards, connections at the hospital, nursing homes, home health agencies, police department, etc.?  The answer is, “None of the above!”  Our message, at Spilsbury’s is shouted loud and clear, by word of mouth, every time we serve a family.

            It was brought to my attention that there are two markets to which modern-day funeral directors cater.  They are the seniors, who are inclined to select the traditional firm that has served the family for generations, and the baby boomers, of which I am one, who recognize value and are willing to pay the price.  But, at the same time, they consider the lower priced firm, although they have never been involved in the funeral arrangement process, and truly don’t understand the difference a quality funeral home offers.  Being a baby boomer AND a funeral director, I have the fortune to serve both sectors.  The seniors, through the years, have gained experience and wisdom. They have felt the heartache and pain as well as the insight, comfort, and peace that come from doing business with firms of longevity, reputation, and trust.  They have learned that discounts are great on household appliances, but don’t represent the best option when shopping for personal services, such as a doctor, lawyer, hairdresser, auto mechanic, or funeral director, to name a few.     As a baby boomer, I must agree that when it comes to heart surgery, safety equipment for rapelling, or choosing a funeral director, experience and wisdom are to take top priority.  I am going to put my trust in my elders and follow their advice.  I have personally been concerned with the real intentions of some with whom I do business.  When in doubt, I consider the options.  Bargains are great, but if they don’t live up to the purpose for which they were intended, then they are no longer bargains.  When it comes to personal services, I choose the very best!

            I have come to truly appreciate a real live voice on the other end of the phone, rather than voice mail menus or answering services.  I like old fashioned homemade french fries and golden oldies, but I do not miss carbon paper or typewriters.

            Life is a mixture of the old and the new.  Nothing can take the place of lemonade, a swing in the park, or other pleasant memories.  Sometimes, I can just close my eyes and remember back on the good ole days.  Those days are gone, but still are very much alive in my memory.  Little League Baseball, the Junior Pentathlon, the first deer hunt....  How about your first car, first date, first girlfriend/boyfriend?  Even back then, the experience and wisdom of our elders, our loving parents, played an important role pertaining to our best welfare and adventure.       

                                                                  

            The old nut does not fall far from the tree.  I see more and more everyday that old fashioned values have become more important in my life.  I am realizing now that I am turning out to be much like my father (God bless his memory).

            The bottom line is this – Radio, television, and print do help us get the word out, but the last word is that when it comes to funeral service, the qualities of longevity, reputation, a proven track record, and family traditions are the key factors that ensure a family of the best possible experience at the most tender time in their life – that of losing a loved one.

            We, as baby boomers, will find ourselves being the ones who are more frequently making the decisions.  I, for one, am ready to assume the responsibilities that lie ahead.  Are you?

Quality Funeral Services

            How does funeral service compare in St. George and Hurricane with the rest of the country?  Maybe you can reflect on the last funeral you attended in Las Vegas, or perhaps you had a relative die in Southern California.  There are two different perspectives – as a loved one attending, or as a member of the family actually helping to make the funeral arrangements.

            You be the judge. Overall, funeral service is much better in our area than other parts of the country.  Granted, Utah is significantly ahead of the nation in many ways, and Utahans have not forgotten the value of the funeral service for family and loved ones.

            This past week I personally supervised an evening visitation that lasted for over five hours.  Each person attending had the opportunity to pay their respects, offer tender words of appreciation and encouragement, or give a gentle hug.  Each person’s time spent was rewarded as they heard the heartfelt and teary-eyed response of, “Thank you.  You are one of our most loved and valued friends,” or “Oh, thank you for being here with us this evening.”  As we attend viewings, each of us adds a little strength, each one of us lifts the burden, each one of us helps ease the pain.  What a noble and valiant expression of love and affection we give at those times. You will always be remembered for your thoughtfulness as one who cared enough to be there.

            Yes, funeral service is definitely better....  Not only are our facilities exceptional, but our personnel is some of the best the industry has to offer, and our equipment technology is State of the Art.  We also provide 24-hour on premises availability.  There is, within reason, always someone at our mortuary.  Are these things important?  Without a doubt!

             I am always amazed that, through cutting corners, others haven’t learned that there is no substitute for first class quality of service and merchandise.  The funeral service should honor the loved one with the highest regard. There are no reruns or dress rehearsals.  There is no excuse for a half-effort.  From the limousine to the ice water at the cemetery, only the very best is good enough for the families we serve.

            It is plain to me, and becoming more obvious to others, that the families of Southern Utah are very traditional, and place high value on the funeral service.  They choose to bid farewell in a most dignified manner.   As in the words of William Gladstone, “Show me the manner in which a nation cares for its dead, and I will measure with mathematical exactness the tender mercies of its people, their respect for the laws of the land, and their loyalty to high ideals.”

            So, how does funeral service compare in Southern Utah versus other parts of this great nation? Exceptionally well!  It is a reflection of our heritage.

The Pro’s and Con’s of Anatomical Donations

            What about being a donor? By this, I mean just what is really meant when we put “Donor” on our drivers licenses. There are many different aspects of being a donor. Is it your intent to donate tissue, bones, vital organs, or perhaps to give a complete body donation? As a funeral director, I would like to shed a little light on the subject.

            May I go on record as saying that I think being a donor is a gracious gift, but sometimes the communication is very misunderstood by those actually giving the gift. When a person or family is contemplating organ, bone, or tissue donation, they need to be aware of the drawbacks associated with the gift.

            It is my belief that giving a gift that lives beyond our own life is a tremendously honorable act.  When giving the gift of an organ, such as a heart, liver, or kidney, many factors come into play, one of which is life support. Life support allows for the recipient to be prepared to receive the transplant.  These gifts are precious and every detail is critical.

            Another gift may be the eyes which may provide a corneal transplant for a recipient.  It’s a very successful procedure, where life support is not necessary, but time is of the essence.

            There is also an enormous need for the gift of tissue and bone.  Again, a gift of this nature can greatly enhance the life of another.  There are times, however, that a delay in the donor recovery response has resulted in the inability to utilize the donation,  or even worse, caused the rescheduling of the funeral, disappointing the donor’s family.  The delay can also be a negative for an optimum preservation process.

            Families of donors are well informed as to the  wonderful difference their donation will make in the life of a recipient, but sometimes the families are not informed of the complications that may exist during the process of laying their loved one to rest.

            If any of my family members or friends were contemplating being a donor, I would want them to be informed of the advantages as well as the disadvantages.  Hence, I would now like to cover some of the disadvantages.  Quite often, the result of an anatomical gift competes with the embalming procedure. The circulation system of the body is disrupted, not allowing proper distribution throughout the body and interfering with the preservation process. In many cases, the body is disfigured and often the embalmers are not able to produce a satisfactory appearance. This creates a surprising and disappointing result for the families, especially if they were planning on an open casket visitation.

            You, the public, should also be informed that there are additional costs associated with anatomical donations.  In order to properly restore and prepare the body, it requires skilled technical procedures and an increased great amount of  time.

            I would like to suggest that it is far better to provide the pro’s and con’s of anatomical donation so that individuals and families may make well-informed decisions. May they be presented the many blessings of anatomical gifts as well as what might be called the down side. 

            In conclusion, each individual must decide for themselves if the gift is worth the possible adverse consequences.

Living Your Eulogy

            Everyday, our eulogies are being written.  How do you want to be remembered? As for me, I want to be remembered as one with a great sense of appreciation.  I would like to take this opportunity to express appreciation to many who have enhanced my life, the lives of my family, and my chosen profession.

            I appreciate my parents, LeGrande and Bette Seegmiller Spilsbury.  I am today in the funeral profession because of my parents.  It took both my Mom and Dad to run the funeral home.  Yes, Mrs. Spilsbury was very much involved in the business.  In 1950, they purchased  Pickett Mortuary from the Pickett family.  Their family had served the residents of Washington and Kane counties for three generations, the first being Horacio Pickett, then his sons, Ellis and Henry, and then Henry’s sons, Elmer and Bob.  Today, our flagpole is dedicated “In Memory of Elmer Pickett.”

            As for the Mrs. Spilsbury of today, I want to express my love and appreciation to my wife, Vivian.  She, like my mother in years past, plays a major role in our family business.  She attends to the finances and helps orchestrate the production of every funeral.

            I express appreciation to our fine staff.  The funeral directors, Tony Whitney and Michael Jones, they are each talented, pay attention to every detail, and are kind and compassionate caregivers.  I express appreciation to the lifeline of  our whole operation, our officer manager, Aimee Sawyer, and program specialist, Julie Brough who both go the “extra mile,” organizing, creating, dotting the “i’s” and crossing the “t’s.”

            Throughout Spilsbury Mortuary there are those in the shadows who keep our beautiful mortuary the “Crown Jewel” of funeral service.  I express appreciation for our gardeners, cleaning personnel, those who run death certificates and transport, all working in harmony. I express appreciation to the Southern Utah Burial Vault Co.,  owned and operated by the Hafen boys and D. J. Gull.  They prepare the most beautiful grave sites and bring peace to that  sacred place – the resting place of our loved ones.

            To all the cemetery sextons throughout Southern Utah and surrounding areas, I express appreciation.  Rain or snow, they always serve faithfully, many going way beyond the call of their employ.

            I express appreciation to those who perform military honors.  They are the great and noble ones.  We are blessed to have the finest military honors in this wonderful  United States of America.  God bless those who perform military honors for our beloved servicemen.

            And, in conclusion, a special appreciation to all clergy who everyday serve others. Oh, how thankful we all are, especially in the final hour of life.  May their kindnesses be remembered and may they be blessed abundantly.

            I hope that I will be remembered as one who has appreciated all people and all things along my path of life.

Leave Your Mark

 I actually get excited thinking about writing my next article for the Senior Sampler.   It’s even somewhat soul searching as I stop to think about how I really feel about what I am thinking. It gives me the opportunity and privilege to expose my heart and mind. My intentions are to lift, share and convey my sentiments, and hopefully stir those tender feelings in you that we all posses. Maybe, to actually stimulate you to shed a tear of memorable reflection or anticipation.

 For example, who is your hero? What is your favorite book, movie or pastime? Do you enjoy life? What makes it all worthwhile? When are you most in harmony with both body and spirit? I would like to reflect on some of these questions with you. Keep in mind, these thoughts we have will one day determine the mark we leave on life.

For me, I want to leave the mark of Five Stars on everything I do, from my professional business to the brand I leave on the rump of my cows – my very best effort in everything. My favorite book is Charlie’s Monument.  My favorite movie is Sea Biscuit. My hero is Mr. Warren Hanning.  Mr. Hanning had faith in me, he gave me the chance in life I truly needed.  What a champion!

I love life. I especially enjoy my profession, serving my fellow-men and being genuinely concerned about their well-being, whatever their need. It is most of the time respectfully true, that the nut does not fall far from the tree, like father like son. That would be the Five Star mark I would like to leave.

Sincerely,

Ted Spilsbury